Retirement Independent Living

While driving past my local fire station this morning, I saw a line of children – they looked like first- or second-graders – walking two by two with a teacher at the either end of the queue. They were headed into the firehouse for what was likely their first-ever visit and formal lesson in fire safety. And since October 9-15 is National Fire Prevention Week, the children’s field trip was very timely!

We are very conscientious about teaching our kids the basics of fire safety because they are such a vulnerable group. Many of us, however, overlook what is arguably an equally vulnerable group – the elderly, especially older folks who live alone. Seniors with hearing or vision loss and those with mobility impairments may not detect fire quickly and may be hindered in their escape.

In fact, adults between age 65 and 75 have a fire death rate twice that of the national average; between age 75 and 85, three times the national average; and over age 85, four times the national average. The leading cause of fire deaths in the elderly? Smoking. The leading cause of fire-related injuries in the elderly? Cooking.

Here are some fire safety tips for any senior who lives independently, whether in a retirement village or in a community setting:

• The single most important step you can take to save your life during a fire is to install smoke alarms, which can alert you to the presence of deadly smoke while there is still time to escape. Place alarms next to each sleeping area and on every floor of your home. Ask friends, family members, building managers or someone from the fire department to install and test smoke alarm batteries at least twice a year – spring and fall with the change of daylight savings time is a good plan. If your smoke alarms are hardwired (connected to the electric circuitry of your residence), make sure they are also equipped with battery back-ups.

• Whether at home or elsewhere, always know the location of the nearest exit. If you live in an apartment building, know where the exit stairwell is and plan to wait there for help if you cannot take the stairs. If you live in a multistory house, try to sleep on the ground floor. Plan your escape route around your capabilities and practice it.

• Have at least one fire extinguisher – and know how to use it. Keep a fire extinguisher easily accessible in the kitchen. If you are confined to a wheelchair, consider having a small easy-to-reach fire extinguisher in mounted on your chair

• Make sure there is a phone next to your bed within arm’s reach. Keep emergency telephone numbers and hearing aids (if necessary) handy.

• Never leave the stove unattended while cooking. If you need to step away from the stove, turn it off. Keep towels and potholders away from the burners. If food or grease catches fire, smother the flames by sliding a lid over the pan and turning off the heat.

• Never use appliances with exposed wires.
  
• Make sure that you are alert when you smoke.
  
• NEVER SMOKE IN BED!
  
• If an oxygen source is nearby, warn guests to refrain from smoking.

• Don't leave portable heaters alone or go to sleep while they are on.
  
• Don’t overload electrical outlets or extension cords.
  
• If your residence is on fire, get out as soon as possible – and stay out. Do not try to gather personal possessions before you leave.

For more information, visit the Ohio Fire Marshal’s website. Take some time during National Fire Prevention Week to think about your own safety and that of your family and friends.

Spring is in the air, and "for sale" signs are popping up on lawns all over the country. If you are thinking about making the move to a retirement community like Bethany Village, now is the time to do some planning. The more you know before you start visiting prospective communities, the smoother your decision-making process will be. Here are a few tips:

1. Contact your Area Agency on Aging to find retirement living options in and near your locale. If you are uncertain about the different types of housing available – for example, independent vs. assisted living – check  for definitions.

2. If you have access to a computer, visit some websites associated with retirement communities in your area. Look for the kinds of housing available, amenities and services. Some websites will offer a virtual tour of housing and grounds. This step will show you what is possible in retirement living; you can decide what appeals to you.

3. Make a list of lifestyle priorities. How much living space do you want? What kind of home appeals to you – a high-rise condo, townhouse, free-standing house? What recreational services and amenities are important to you? Will you have a pet(s)? Do you want a full continuum of care available? Think about what you don’t like about where you live now. Can you change any of those things when you move?

4. Think about your financial commitment. For example, do you want to purchase or rent? Retirement communities have professionals on staff who can walk you through your options, but it’s a good idea to know your budget before you start visiting places.

5. Call ahead to make an appointment. Prepare a short list of questions so you can easily eliminate places that don’t meet your basic requirements.

It’s important to remember that your search for a retirement community is just that – yours. While you’ll want to consult with your family and close friends, the ultimate decision rests with you. When you visit, invite a trusted advisor along, but avoid bringing lots of friends and family. You’ll want to concentrate on your needs – not theirs.

Expect the community representative who is showing you around to give you the time you need (usually 60–90 minutes), focus on your needs and answer your questions straightforwardly. Choosing a retirement community is choosing a lifestyle. The representatives you meet with should be as interested to in your happiness, comfort and safety as you are.

Are you planning to visit retirement communities this spring? Do you have other questions?

Food: We celebrate with it. Bond with it. Mourn with it. Experiment with it. Impress with it. Reach out with it. Heal with it. Love with it. Who doesn’t long for the taste of dishes like mom’s meatloaf and grandma’s apple pie – with a big dollop of all the memories they evoke?

Bethany Village resident Elinor Thomas, 89, felt that tug of nostalgia and she did something about it. In 2003, Elinor collected some of her family recipes in a 248-page spiral-bound book. The book’s oversized-type makes it easy to read for those who, like Elinor, have macular degeneration.

Then Elinor took her book one step further: she used the on-demand publishing company Friends and Family Cookbook Publishers to edit, format (with photos!) and print her book, The See-Easy Large Print Cookbook, which now sells for $19.95 on the tools for independent living website MaxiAids. Because Elinor prints only the number of books she needs at any given time, her costs remain manageable. Elinor reports that she has another recipe book waiting in the wings. First, however, she wants to market The See-Easy Large Print Cookbook to Walmart and local bookstores.

Last year, Friends and Family produced Bethany Cooks, a collection of favorite recipes from Bethany residents and staff ($15 in the gift shop). And who helped organize the 150+ recipes and pictures for publication, plus run a contest to name the cookbook? None other than Elinor Thomas and several other residents.

"Of course, you don’t have to sell your cookbook to enjoy making one," Elinor says. "A legacy cookbook can be as simple as a collection of your recipes or family recipes in a three-ring binder, or you can have pages reproduced and spiral bound at any copy store. Your family will love it, as my two children and my husband Ray’s five children do."

Here are a dozen tips to consider when thinking about your family cookbook:

1. Choose a time frame. Are you going to look back several generations or focus more on your immediate family and the recipes they would remember?

2. Pick a theme. Do you want to include the full gamut of recipes from appetizers to desserts? Perhaps you want to focus only on holiday recipes? The name of your cookbook will probably flow from your theme.

3. How many recipes do you want to include? Becoming too ambitious might take away from the fun of creating the book, so be realistic.

4. Do you want to include pictures, past and present, of family and friends?

5. Do you want to write a short paragraph about why you have included each recipe – perhaps recall some of the memories attached to the dish?

6. As you pull together recipes, check to be sure you have all the ingredients that are used listed and that all the ingredients listed are in fact used in the instructions. Ingredients should be listed in the order in which they are used.

7. Don’t forget the cooking temperature and time as well as the suggested number of servings.

8. Check some of your favorite cookbooks and food magazines to see how recipes are written and pick a simple format you like. You can also look at books such as The Recipe Writer's Handbook for guidance.

9. Don’t be shy about offering cooking and serving tips.

10. If you are writing to family members to ask for recipes, include a sample recipe format for them to follow and ask them why they chose the recipe they are sending you. Be sure you include the name of the person who contributed the recipe in your book.

11. If the you or the person you are asking for a recipe doesn’t have an email account, send a self-addressed stamped envelope along with your request. Set a reasonable deadline for getting recipes back.

12. Be sure to send everyone who contributed a copy of the finished product.

How does your family share recipes and pass them along from one generation to the next? Share your comments.

If you are an older person thinking about visiting some retirement communities in anticipation of making a move (or if you are a family member thinking about future living arrangements for a loved one), I have a very important piece of advice for you: Do it when things are going well and you are not in crisis or under any pressure to make a fast decision. Not being in a hurry to make a move gives you the freedom to consider all your options, weigh the pros and cons, and make an informed decision.

I’ve been a senior living counselor at Bethany Village for 11 years, and in that time, I have learned what it takes for prospective residents to glean the most information from their retirement community preview tours. Here are some tips:

Don’t be afraid to make an appointment. Selecting a retirement community can’t be done over the phone. You’ll want to compare at least a couple of similar places. Meeting face-to-face with a counselor is the best way to get a feel for the place and have all your questions answered.

Be prepared. Before you set off for your appointment, take a few minutes to write down your "hot button" issues. What are you looking for? What is less than perfect in your current living situation? Could the community you are visiting solve those problems?

Allow enough time for your appointment. For example, Bethany’s campus is fairly large – ranging from independent living in cottages to long-term nursing home care. We ask our prospective residents to plan on about a 90-minute visit.

Visit during the day. Retirement communities are quieter in the evening and on weekends, so if you want get a realistic impression, come during the day.

Try to set aside preconceived negatives. There are several common preconceived notions about moving into a retirement community. One has to do with loss of control over your lifestyle. A quality retirement community will allow you to make the decisions about how much assistance/care you need. Fear of moving into a nursing home is another common issue. If there is a nursing home associated with the retirement community you are visiting, ask to see it and take a good look around. At Bethany, for example, I think the community and atmosphere would be not at all what you anticipated.

Expect the places you visit to follow-up with you. The counselors you meet with should call you about a week after your visit to see if you have any questions. If you show interest in the community, you should expect the counselor to invite you and perhaps a family member back for another visit.

Let’s face it: people generally don’t like making dramatic changes in how and where they live, especially as they get older. You probably want to see me – a retirement community counselor – about as much as you want to go to the dentist! But taking care of these plans now can make your life a lot easier later. I can assure you that at Bethany Village, your needs and comfort come first. And if you use the tips I’ve outlined above, you will be able to make an informed choice when it’s time to look at retirement living.

Your comments are welcome about your experience with tours of retirement communities.

For many seniors having a car and the ability to drive anywhere and anytime is understandably a luxury they do not willingly want to relinquish. They have been driving the majority of their lives and many cannot imagine giving this up.

If one or both of your parents is facing the decision to stop driving, either because of personal health or safety issues, understand the gravity of the decision. To provide support, be encouraging and offer up some positive aspects of letting someone else do the driving.

A big benefit is financial. The money saved on insurance, gas and routine maintenance is substantial and can be applied toward paying for private transportation when needed. Other benefits include the end of battling inclement weather and skipping the annual hassle of renewing car insurance, driver’s licenses and registrations.

If your mom and dad live in a retirement community such as Bethany Village they can still keep their independence whether they drive or not. Bethany provides bus transportation to local grocery and department stores, physician offices and pharmacies at no extra cost. Bethany also provides private transportation based on individual needs and assistance that might be required.

Children that live nearby can also provide transportation assistance, and pair the outing with lunch and some quality time with mom and dad.

Our society is of the mindset that once you can no longer drive, your life comes to a halt. While driving can certainly afford your parent(s) a more spontaneous lifestyle, with some advance planning, a full social calendar is possible!

Have you recently had the "no more driving" talk with mom or dad? How did it go? Leave your advice in the comments section below. AARP has more information about planning the conversation.

Trying anything new is terrifying, isn’t it? Sometimes change is forced on us and sometimes we’re lucky enough to make proactive choices about life before events are hoisted upon us.

I’m new to Bethany Village and the Graceworks organization. I work in the marketing department and I get to write a lot of interesting content. Sometimes I get to meet residents and learn about their lives.

If you would have asked me a year ago if I’d be working at a Continuing Care Retirement Community in Dayton, Ohio, I’d have laughed and shook my head "no." After all, I had a corporate PR job and things were humming along fine. Then the economy collapsed and just like millions of other Americans, I was without a job.

I suppose my "move" to Bethany Village can somehow parallel a retiree’s decision to transition to our community. After all, retirement is a whole new phase of life and for many people, the options are endless. Should you stay in your home or move somewhere exotic? Move near children or downsize and travel nonstop? What if you want to stay close to where you’ve always lived but are done with the endless household chores? Asking yourself many questions can help you make a decision about where you would like to live during retirement… but the honest truth is that pretty much all change is scary.

I didn’t know what to expect, showing up to work on my first day at Bethany Village. After all, this was completely new for me and I didn’t personally know anyone who lived at Bethany. I didn’t know any of the employees and I’ve never done anything remotely close to human services…so some of the regulations and training classes made me nervous. Yet, a month later, it all sort of makes sense. Everything fits and people are very nice and helpful.

Moving is both scary and exciting, even if it’s planned way in advance. After all, you might be leaving possessions and good neighbors behind. I was sad about leaving my old job because I didn’t want to leave my friends. I realized soon after my last day at my old company that those friends weren’t going anywhere. Good friends always stick together, no matter what. Just like good neighbors.

So, if you’re lucky enough to be in retirement and considering a move, you might consider Bethany when checking out places to live. You might find you move next door to the friend of a lifetime in the process. It all starts with change and you can remain completely independent.  

Do you know someone who recently moved to a Continuing Care Retirement Community? Give us your thoughts in the comments section below.